Ephesians 4:1–3 (ESV) 1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Strong Relationships are built on love, grow with patience, deepen through forgiveness, and are sustained by humility
Strong Relationships “grow with patience.”
Understanding the Power of “Words”
Communication consists of speaking, listening, and understanding. I will cover more about listening in the next two messages of this series, especially since it is such an important topic. In this message I want to focus on our speaking, and how we use our words with one another.
Words are an expression of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions of the heart. They are external expressions of an internal reality.
Matthew 12:34b (ESV) For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
The power of words comes from at least two places: the authority and capacity of the one speaking them and the shared meaning that is assigned to them. (Power and Purpose)
To understanding this better, maybe a few examples will help. We express our own minds, our thoughts, feelings, imagination, and intentions through the process of creating and the result of what we create.
Example 1: making a cake. The conception in our minds of a cake becomes manifested in reality using and working with the raw ingredients of eggs, flour, sugar, heat of the oven, and time. If we know what we are doing, the end result of a cake is an expression of ourselves — our thoughts, feelings and intentions. The cake that began in our minds (internal reality) becomes manifested in the cake on the counter (external reality).
Example 2: a work of art. We have an image in our minds, our imaginations, that then becomes manifested in reality by taking the raw materials of canvas and various paint styles, methods, and colors. Not only do you need the capacity to attain the raw materials and the creativity of your imagination, you also need the ability to craft the raw materials into a work of art. The image that began in our minds (internal reality) because the painting manifested on the canvas (external reality).
Potential Examples: a garden, a house, a renovation, a business, etc.
In each of these examples, our creations (cake, artwork, garden, house) are an expression of our thoughts, imagination, feelings, and intentions. Their manifestation is due to our power to create: our capacity to attain the raw materials and the ability to put them together in a way that makes something new.
Our work of creation manifests our creativity and our capacity to create. (Power)
If we carry higher levels of authority, our capacity for creation increases. Heads of State (Presidents and Prime Ministers) can designate vast resources to creative projects: large infrastructural projects, giant buildings, etc.
The higher the authority, the larger the capacity to create.
We, however, are more restricted and limited by our finiteness. We only have the capacity to take raw materials and make something new out of them. God, however, is infinite and all-powerful. As God spoke in Genesis 1, what he spoke came into existence in the same way our hands move in response to our thoughts and intentions. That is the creative power of the word of God. What God speaks happens. The word of God is an invisible, spiritual reality that produced all that is visible.
Hebrews 11:3 (ESV) By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
God’s ultimate power and capacity enables him to create something out of nothing simply by speaking. And we are made in His image. We are given capacity to create, and part of that creative capacity is using our words.
Thought and speech are God’s gifts to creatures made in His image; these are intimately associated with Him and impossible apart from Him. – A.W. Tozer
Proverbs 18:21 (KJV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 18:21 (NLT) The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Proverbs 18:21 (MSG) Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Being made in God’s image, our words have power. How we use our words matters in our relationships. God has given us the authority and capacity to speak words that have power in them. If we want our relationships to be strong and fruitful, to be life-giving, we must speak life into them. If our relationships are weak and unfruitful and we want to renovate them, we must change our words from death to life. The words you speak need to be understood in this way—a spiritual power. Our communicated words are our power, whether for good or evil. Thus, the Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:2) encourages us to act and speak with gentleness rather than harshness, and patience rather than hurried rudeness or irritability.
Our gentle and patient words have the power to build strong, life-giving relationships.
Understanding the Purpose of “Words”
The power of words comes from at least two places: the authority and capacity of the one speaking them and the shared meaning that is assigned to them. (Power and Purpose)
There isn’t just power in our words that comes from our authority and capacity to speak them. The power of our words comes from the meaningwe assign them. Words convey our thoughts, feelings, and intentions. When we speak, we hope to convey something through our words. Our words contain part of us in them, we infuse them with ourselves. Words mean something, and it is that meaning that is part of what it means that our words have power. Hearing a language you do not understand has no impact or meaning on you, no matter the intent of those words.
“Сильнейшие из всех воинов – это двое: Время и Терпение.” ~ Лев Толстой
“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
This is a great thought, powerfully and succinctly articulated, from a great mind. If you do not read or understand Russian, the words are nothing but marks and symbols on a page, or meaningless sounds in our ears. It is only if we understand the meaning of the words that they have power. Even if you can read or understand the words in English, it’s the meaning of the whole idea that the author intends us to get. The full power of this quote is in the meaning the author has infused within it. It’s ideas and thoughts in his mind that he is articulating through the use of these words that has its power in us when we share the meaning and purpose he intends.
The power of our words is diminished if the meaning of them is not understood.
Part of being patient in our communication with one another is working hard at ensuring what we say conveys the meaning we intend it to, and that the hearer understands that meaning as we intend it.
Words are spiritual forces, in that they come from a realm of thought, feeling, and intention, our inner reality, that’s beyond the words themselves, that’s what gives them their “spiritual nature.” The word of God (God speaking) is the expression of his mind, his thoughts, feelings, intentions, and creativity. He is present with his word. “God is Spirit” (John 4:24). Jesus is the full, physical expression of God’s mind, His Word (John 1:1-5). Jesus understood that his communication was imparting himself to those who received his words.
John 6:63b (ESV) The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.
Our words are an expression of the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of our heart. They are external expressions of an internal reality. Jesus says this,
Matthew 12:33–35 (NLT) 33 “A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. 34 You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.
If the internal reality (the heart) is bad, then no matter how much we pretend or fake it, eventually the bad that is inside the heart works its way into our words. If the internal reality is good, then the words that are expressed will be good.
The condition of our relationships is affected by the condition of our heart. The words we use toward one another are infused with what is in our hearts. If we want our relationships to be strong, life-giving, fruitful, and good, then our hearts have to be gentle and patient toward the other person.
Conclusion
As God’s image-bearers, He has given us the creative power of using our words to create. We can use our words to bring life or death, destruction or renovation. Therefore, we are to communicate with gentleness with one another.
For the life-giving power of our words to be fully realized, our intention and meaning behind our words must be from a good heart, and be understandable. Therefore, we are to communicate with patience toward one another.
The two analogies we began with: our relationships being like strong buildings or fruitful gardens, our words have the spiritual power to build up the strength of our relationships or cultivate the fruitfulness of our relationships.
For our relationships to embody heaven on earth, they need to be infused with the word of God. May the word of God be in abundance in our hearts that our mouths may speak the power and purpose of God’s Word.